Friday, November 2, 2007

Performance Art Starts Now

The first activity we did was very short, and quite awkward. Well, I suppose this activity was meant to be something awkward. It wasn't a challenging activity, just a small performance for the introduction of the subject, to release tensions and get warmed up a bit before the actual. The mirror activity made me laugh too much, because it was weird making faces at someone on to the mirror. However, it made me think, yeah, wasn't there any cases when someone made fun of me in the back, and I did not realise they did? How did that make me feel? Well, to that I say it wasn't a pleasant feeling. While I felt the mirror activity had some meaning, the shaking hands activity seemed shallow. I just couldn't understand what all this was about. But overall, I wasn't pressured to be perfect, so it wasn't a big deal to act however I wanted.
When ever I performed infront of the people, the very common reaction to that was getting nervous. I used to get butterflies in my stomach and felt like fainting. I think my shyness was to the extreme side as I was younger. I mean, what if I fail and perform badly in front of the crowd and get laughed at, and also let down the others? But now to think of it, these feelings and unecessary; I think these thoughts comes from the desire to be admired, wanting to be a perfectionist in front of everybody, which I'm not. In order to perform without feeling pressured I have to be able to put away these thoughts and just, be my self. The word confidence must be describing about those people who accept themselves of who they are, and thus is comfortable to expose one self, even in embarrassing moments. Thus, from this subject, I expect to be more confident about myself, and feel comfortable performing in front of the crowd.

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